Why Im Not a Rationalist

I’m not a rationalist.

I have deep appreciation for the rationalist community but they’re not my people in a way that’s very subtle and difficult for me to understand

— Samswara (@samswoora) December 17, 2023

This is a difficult thing for me to stay - I was lucky enough to attend the Rationalist Solstice in Berkeley last night, which was an absolutely lovely event.

The performance was stunning, going through an emotional Fall, Winter, and Spring. I sobbed during the Winter portion, remembering the twins.

After we went to the afterparty. However ever conversation I was a part of other than with my friends was falling flat.

It’s dissapointing in some ways - I deeply respect the community they’ve built. What a community it is! In some ways I’m envious of the organization and dedication they all put in.

But there’s aspects that are deeply missing for me.

What my differences are

I believe in God

I believe, deeply, that there is a divine source outside of us. I don’t know what it is, I don’t know what I am - but I know it to exist.

Rationalists don’t, and I find their stubborness on the matter to be exhausting.

Rationalists turn to fantasy

Be it tabletop games like D&D, or fan fictions, rationalists as a subculture have a high overlap with a particular type of nerd that just isn’t me.

These kind of nerds both me, if I’m going to be honest. It’s nothing about them, they’re usually great people.

It’s something subtle - it’s like they lack the Faustian Spirit. I don’t want to create a fantasy world that reveals hidden truths about logic. I want to build a machine in the physical world.

I expand for expansion’s sake. I turn outwards. I reject the turn inwards to fantasy.

I explore myself, I create beautiful experiences. However I don’t lose myself in them.

I seek power

Rationalists tend to not seek power. If you do, you move into EA, the political wing.

I seek power. I seek power and I don’t know why. Power good.

I am not cattle

Rationalists are preyed on - people like Aella or Yud, they clearly harness Rationalists as cattle. They use them for social clout, and mate access.

I am not cattle, I will not build a community for you. I build a community for people I believe to be good.

To finish

I think what the rationalists lack is the Will to Power. There is a lack of striving for greatness, a Last Man mindset.

Even the political arm, with EA - it’s a philosophy of cuckoldry. We will give all of our money away. We will make everyone comfortable. We will minimize suffering.

This is hard to say 100%, because there are many rationalists doing great things. Much greater things than I.

But there’s something missing. A prey drive, a selfishness, that I can’t just grasp.

I appreciate them. But I am not them. I’m close to my people, but I haven’t become the person I need to be to find them.